• Yvonne Ewington

Being a Happier Woman - Love Who You Are.

What if I said it’s possible to be perfect? Would you take it?

The thing is life isn’t perfect and neither are we. It’s just not meant to be that way.

Whether we believe in or strive for perfection or not, women today increasingly try to fit into an idea of how we should look, how we should act and worry more about being disliked or appearing unattractive. These feelings often become more intense as we get older. In addition we pile on the pain by comparing our lives to others often finding ourselves lacking.

The thing is, striving for perfection actually stops us from reaching our true potential and being who we want to be. Our aspirations start to disappear because we feel that we can’t live up to the ideals we have for our bodies, minds, careers and lifestyles.

There’s a saying that goes ‘we’re all perfectly imperfect.’ How about we adopt this mantra and let ourselves off the hook?

This idea is embodied beautifully in the Japanese philosophy of ‘Wabi-Sabi’

It believes that the beauty to be found in an object is in it’s imperfection, celebrating transience, individuality and the flawed nature of things. Qualities that make it unique, genuine and beautiful.

It’s wisdom reminds us that our bodies and the material world around us are in the process of returning to dust, it’s the natural way of life. Essentially it is the art of finding beauty in the imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.

Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

It’s taken me years to accept my imperfection’s. I had to let go of my notion of how I used to be and comparing my reality now to the me then; younger, fitter, slimmer, ergo more attractive… perhaps even more acceptable. But for who?

Accepting that nothing will be perfect can be liberating in helping us accept and appreciate ourselves, helping us move forward and simply start to flow with life more. Central to this is believing that we are worthwhile and that we have some value.

So what can you do to increase confidence with who you are?

  • Start by changing your focus, enjoy the journey and what you are doing in the moment instead of only thinking about the goal.

  • Adapt a more flexible approach to life. Things change all the time so be less rigid with yourself and use words like “alternatives”, “possibilities”, “sometimes”, “occasionally” and “compromise”.

  • Get enough daylight. Sunlight helps us increase the hormone serotonin. It’s the brain chemical that governs happiness and self-esteem boosting our mood. Open your curtains and blinds when you get up and look out into the daylight. Better still go outside too. Try taking a 20 minute walk in the morning or at lunchtime.

  • Start noticing when you use the word should. “Should” implies obligation. It means trying to please someone else or trying to live up to rigid pre-determined standards. Replace it with the word could. Could is full of possibility and gives us a choice.

  • Drop the inner critic voice that sabotages your confidence and aims. Instead take a more light-hearted attitude to life and be kind to yourself.

I believe that it’s so much more important to tune into how we feel, to ditch the doubts and start to trust our gut instincts.

Accept the so-called flaws and the idea of perfection because we are unique and beautiful because of them.

Just so perfectly imperfect.



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